you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize