When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize