y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Pooping to opera.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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