How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
