i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Drake has all the answers
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
