Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
did i just pee glitter
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
