If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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