call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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