Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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