i permit you to call me
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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