And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
