38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
