I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
