wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
