come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
