Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
