I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You should frame my arrest warrant.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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