Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
