Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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