I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
