Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
