we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
