I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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