just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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