When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
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