I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
