I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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