do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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