I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
