my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
