I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize