dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
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Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
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So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
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