Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
