Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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