he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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