goodnight i made you a song goodbye
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
