Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
