I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
