But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
