people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
