ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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