I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
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