We're facebook friends in real life
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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