you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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