Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I need to calm my uterus...
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize