Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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