The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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