Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
