I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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