there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
