I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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