i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
