I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
