Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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