Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
