I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
