also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize
