New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
