I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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