Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
