i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
