you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
