I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
