The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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