just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I wish i was in the wii world.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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