And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
