you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
