is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
this is an emotional support booty call
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
