My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize